


Lazy Saturday Mornings

by leebees



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Depressed Katsuki Yuuri, Depressed Victor Nikiforov, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Katsuki Yuuri Needs a Hug, M/M, Makkachin is a Good Dog, Post-Season/Series 01, Sad Katsuki Yuuri, Slice of Life, Supportive Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 15:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12684462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leebees/pseuds/leebees
Summary: Yuuri loves Saturdays, but not this particular one.





	Lazy Saturday Mornings

Saturdays were Yuuri’s favorite days. Most people preferred Sundays, and Yuuri liked them well enough, but they were kind of like leftover food: alright, just not as good as the day before. When Yuuri was growing up, he lived week to week. If he could just get to Saturday, if he could survive that long, he’d be alright. He repeated that to himself like a prayer. Nowadays however, Yuuri enjoys Saturdays for a different reason.

It was a day he could sleep in and cuddle with his darling fiancé Viktor and their dog Makkachin. A day that sometimes offered breakfast in bed, and other times it offered sleep talking Russians mumbling nonsense about talking daisies driving fire-trucks. However, there were some Saturdays that just didn’t measure up.

Depression is not something Yuuri wears proudly, but it isn’t something he’s ashamed of or tries to hide. Not for lack of trying, but there are just some things that are impossible to hide, especially when living with someone. Most days, he can manage it and go about his everyday life. Other days, it’s a struggle to get out of bed. Viktor is no stranger to depression, and unlike Yuuri’s anxiety, he knows how to handle the situation and take care of Yuuri.

The thing about people romanticizing mental illnesses is that there’s absolutely nothing lovely about them. If you aren’t careful, they can destroy the things you care about the most. Unhealthy coping mechanisms are habits that you can so easily fall back on without even noticing. What most people fail to realize is that self-care can kind of go out the window when going through a depressive episode. Yuuri is no exception to this.

When he was living in Detroit, before Phichit arrived, Yuuri lived alone. He didn’t handle it well to say the least. He’d go days without showering or washing his face, even brushing his teeth, and even when he did, it’s only because he would force himself too. He’d train, if he was feeling up to it, he’d study, and he would sleep. It sounds gross, and it was. There was no real explanation for it except he just couldn’t bring himself to do them. The thing about romanticizing mental illnesses is that nobody wants to face truth. They don’t make you more interesting and they aren’t pretty and no one can come along and cure them. 

Yuuri remembers when he used to think that was how they worked. He would watch Viktor skate, and dream of meeting him, and falling in love, and everything would be okay. Yuuri knows better now. 

Of course, you can’t cure mental illnesses. Depression will always be a part of him and most of the time he stays on top of it. But there are the rare occasions when it rears its ugly head. 

Now is one of those times. It’s a Saturday. Yuuri’s favorite day. The only problem is the thought of getting out of bed makes him want to cry. He can’t bear the idea of getting up and facing the day, he doesn’t even want to open his eyes. He feels abnormally big and loud today. He just wants to curl up in his bed and go back to sleep where no one can see or hear him. If he was still living alone in Detroit, that’s exactly what he would do. 

He’s not in Detroit though. He moved to St. Petersburg with Viktor over a year ago. He’s lived with Viktor long enough for him to be acquainted with days like this. He’s learned Yuuri’s limits and knows when to push and when to let him be. Some days Yuuri can push through this feeling and say fuck it, I can do this. Today is not one of those days. 

Yuuri lays in bed with his eyes closed willing himself to go back to sleep. He’s been awake for at least an hour even though his body feels as heavy as lead and his brain is foggy. Beside him, he can hear Viktor breathing softly. He knows that he’s probably awake. As much as wants to turn and hug him for hours, he doesn’t think he can move. For a moment he tries to push his thoughts into Viktor’s brain, hoping he’ll be able to read his mind. When it finally clicks that that isn’t possible, Yuuri finally breaks.

Viktor had been awake not wanting to disturb the other man and just content to watching Yuuri breathe. He could sense that something was off with Yuuri this morning. His eyes flickered ever so slightly as he stared at him, taking in every detail of his face. God, he loves this man. He’s startled from his lovesick thoughts when he notices a tear drop squeeze out of his closed eyes and slowly roll down towards his ear. He’s immediately rising from his resting position. He props his torso up by his right elbow and moves his left hand to brush through Yuuri’s shoulder length hair slowly from his roots to his ends.

“Yura?” Viktor whispers, his eyebrows knitted together. “What’s wrong, love?”

At the sound of Viktor’s voice, a sob escapes Yuuri’s lips. There was no mistaking the concern and adoration in his words.

“Come here,” Viktor gently pulls Yuuri towards his chest. As Yuuri slowly finds the courage to move, he helps Viktor situate him so that he now has his head buried in Viktor’s neck, grasping onto him as if his life depends on it. His arms are clutching on to Viktor’s torso trying to get him as close as possible, and their legs are woven together so intricately, if they were a statue they’d break if you tried to separate them. Viktor practically engulfs Yuuri’s shoulders, desperately wishing they would stop shaking, and he presses his right cheek against Yuuri’s trembling head. In fact, if Yuuri wasn’t so tensed up, his entire being would be vibrating.

They stay like this for a long time. When Yuuri stops crying and his breath evens out, Viktor very slowly untangled himself. For the first time, Makkachin budges from her place at the foot of the bed. She lifts her head, and looks around until she finds the source of her disturbance. Viktor softly pats the place on the mattress where he had laid curled up with Yuuri. Makkachin seems to understand and slowly makes her way to Yuuri’s side where she lays down and rests her head on Yuuri’s arm. He rubs the soft fur on Makkachin's head before kissing Yuuri's head; he lets his lips linger for a few seconds. 

Viktor quietly creeps into the kitchen. He opens his cabinets and begins to cook rice and miso soup which is the only Japanese dish he really knows how to make that isn’t instant ramen. He smiles as he remembers when Yuuri taught him how to make it. He almost set the apartment on fire. He succeeded in setting the rice on fire. Apparently he’d forgotten to put water in the pot. He remembers Yuuri laughing so hard no noise came out of his mouth and he had to sit down. He’d never seen him laugh like that before. 

As he puts on the water for tea, he thinks of how differently his life would have been without Yuuri. When he’s not calling then disgusting, Yuri likes to call them boring, and maybe they are in comparison to other relationships, but Viktor can’t seem to recall another time in his life where he had fun being alive. Yuuri brought so much life and joy with him. He looks around his apartment as he waits for the water to boil and he thinks of what he would be doing right now if he’d never met Yuuri. Maybe he wouldn’t even be alive. Yuuri saved him in more ways than one. More ways than he realized. He notices how the rooms in their home aren’t empty anymore. He notices how he calls it their home without even giving a second thought. 

Viktor watches the steam rise from the leopard print mug that they bought for when Yuri comes over as he pours the hot water over the jasmine tea bag. He breathes in the scent. He hopes this helps Yuuri a little bit. He knows how Yuuri is feeling. He’s had his share of days where no matter what he does he just can’t seem to get out of bed and function properly. He still gets them on occasion, and his sweet Yuuri is always there with patience and love and encouragement. It gets him through the worst moments. The least he can do is be there for him during his. 

He brings the food and the tea to the living room and sets it on the coffee table in front of the couch. Viktor knows it would be best for Yuuri to get out of bed, but he knows that’s the last thing Yuuri wants to do. Viktor decides to compromise. He opens the windows across from the couch. The sky is gray and thunder rolls quietly though the rain has yet to poor. He puts of Teen Titans and goes to wake Yuuri. He sneaks into their room and sits by Yuuri on his side of the bed. He rolled over in his sleep and now lays on his other side facing Viktor. 

“Yura,” Viktor whispers, brushing Yuuri’s long hair out his red, swollen eyes. Viktor feels a pinch in his heart. “Do you think you can get up?”

He notices Yuuri hesitate before he carefully nods. He reaches out his arms towards Viktor and he catches them with his hands, helping him sit up. He moves his legs from under the blankets. He stands up from the bed like a baby dear stands for the first time. His legs tremble and Viktor stands with him, supporting him as Yuuri tries to find the strength inside himself.

Yuuri used to feel so embarrassed when he got like this. It used to be worse when he got like this because on top of already feeling like complete and utter shit, he hated himself because he felt like he was burdening Viktor. After helping Viktor through his bad days though, he realized that of course he wasn’t burdening him. This is just what people that love each other do. They support and lift each other up. They’re a team. If one suffers, they suffer together. 

It’s not about fixing each other or glorifying their sadness. It’s about trusting and loving each other. Days like this are hard for everyone involved, but they work through it because it’s worth it. As Viktor helps Yuuri walk to the couch, Makkachin follows them. And when they’re in position, and Yuuri is laying in between Viktor’s legs in the most innocent way possible with their arms wrapped around each other, and as Yuuri rests his right ear against Viktor’s heart and listens to the steady beating in his chest, reminding him that this is real and everything will be okay, Makkachin climbs up on top of their sock covered feet. 

It finally starts to rain as the theme song plays on the TV. Yuuri sighs. His chest still feels heavy, but he doesn’t have to do this alone anymore. He knows that everything will eventually make sense again. He also knows that there’s nothing and no one in the world he could possibly love more than his Viktor.

**Author's Note:**

> This comes from personal experience with depression. I'm really tired of seeing people romanticize things that aren't romantic. If you know someone who is going through something or you think they might be, talk to them and support them. If you're going through something, don't be afraid to ask for help! Getting help is the best thing you can do. Mental illnesses are nothing to be ashamed of. You can get through this!


End file.
